A revulva! I was eating a hotdog the other day and when I took a bite ketchup squirted in my eye. Now I have heinzsight. What is it called when a man feels bad for squirting on a woman? I looked her square in the eyes and said, "Squirting isn't real, right? It's just urine, right? Young boy goes up to his Dad and asks "Where did I come from? What happens if you have sex with a Mcdonalds employee and you make her squirt? She charges you 25 cents for extra sauce.
Four men are stranded on a deserted island After wandering for days, they finally come upon a small shack in the distance. Unsure of its safety, one friend volunteers to investigate while the other three stay behind. Taking a deep breath, the bravest of the friends walks through the front door and finds a witch waiting for him. If you think female squirt isn't piss… Then Urine for a big surprise.
My mom always called me squirt as a child. She said it had something too do with the way I was conceived. Why was the ketchup feeling bad? Because it had the squirts. Courtesy of my 8 year old nephew. A man with chronic vision problems A man with chronic vision problems appeared to have his visual health declining quickly. He'd go to visit doctor after doctor, who had been prescribing him stronger and stronger prescription glasses.
However, the degeneration of his vision was making him approach blindness, and he finally cracked an Why did the drill instructor squirt condiments on his trainees in the morning? That's how he mustard the troops. There's a way of telling if an orange is male or female If it squirts you in your eye without warning, it's a male.
If it's bitter for no apparent reason, it's a female. I've squirted an entire bottle of No More Tears in my baby's face Parenting is hard. How come you didn't name me after you Dad? We named you after your Mom, squirt. Every year my boyfriend gets me with one of those damned trick candles. You know, the ones where you blow and you blow and you blow, and then they squirt you in the face. Holy Shit! The neighbors had been complaining that my dogs had been barking non-stop.
I hate the electric zapping bark collars so I purchased a humane citronella collar. When a dog barks, it shoots a blast of citronella under their nose and apparently they don't like it. This evening I was getting the c Do you guys remember Paul the Octopus? The one who predicted Spain winning the World Cup some years ago? Well, a friend of mine told me that if you get hit in the face with the ink of an octopus from there, you can see your future self and predict the future.
I called him out on it at first, but curiosity got the best of me Porn Parody Movie Titles My friends and I play this game when we drink or when we wanna pass the time while at work. Looking for some more to use. Bug in the Barn A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udde Why did Louis CK hire a babysitter?
He needed someone to watch his little squirts. Shotgun to the Crotch Lem and Ephis are out hunting. They take a break to take a squirt in the woods when one of the dogs knocks over one of the shotguns.
The gun goes off and hitting Ephis directly in the crotch. Ephis screams in pain! Where is my wife? The husband furious says " Don't you tell her I'm here! I'm going to hide in the closet and see what she has to say about this. I called my boss this morning and said "I'm not coming in today, I've got the squirts. A farmer went to milk his cow A farmer went to milk his cow.
He put the bucket down under the udders and started milking, but after a few seconds, the cow took her left leg and knocked the bucket over. The farmer sighed and found a piece of rope and tied the left leg to the pillar on the left and went back to milking.
A man with vision problems A man and his family have had a long history of problems with their eyesight, most remedied by prescription glasses. He's in his forties now when he starts to lose the overall quality of his vision and starts going to various doctors.
He gets prescribed a pair of prescription glasses and to n Naughty Horse Race Horses in the race are: 1. Passionate Lady 2. Bare Belly 3. Silk Panties 4. Conscience 5.
Jockey Shorts 6. Clean Sheets 7. Thighs 8. Big Johnson 9. Heavy Bosum Conscience is left behind at the post. Grandma's cookies Little Jimmy was visiting his grandparents one day and noticed grandpa was getting ready to go fishing and asked if he could come with. Abracadabra A blonde, brunette, and a red are frolicking on the beach when the blonde suddenly trips over a bottle in the shape of a phallus.
Blonde: What is this? What do we do with it? Red head: We're supposed to rub it silly! So they huddle around the bottle and using both hands they all What's the fastest thing on Earth? Four men are being interviewed as part of a scientific survey that is being conducted in order to determine what's the fastest thing on earth. The first man says,"I think that it's probably a blink because you can blink so quickly that sometimes you don't even realize that your blinking.
Dave's shitty luck There was a man named Dave, and he was going on a hunting trip with his buddies. Luckily he's at the campsite when all of a sudden he gets a bad case of the Hershey squirts. Dave runs to the nearest tree and let's it rip all over the tree. In fact he's there so long he falls asleep. His friends come A woman finds out about her cheating husband